Tom Colicchio dating

Top Chef Sub Rewatch - Season 8

2019.04.29 17:00 butisitok Top Chef Sub Rewatch - Season 8

Hi everyone, the survey results indicated that season 8 was the season the majority of those who participated in the survey wanted to watch! Below is some info to familiarize yourself with the season.
We'll start the rewatch threads next Monday and have them weekly. Below is the list of episodes and the dates I'll post the discussion threads. You can check out this page) to get more info about specific episodes. See you all next week!
Rewatch Date Episode Name Original Air Date
Monday, May 6 History Never Repeats 12/1/10
Monday, May 13 Night at the Museum 12/8/10
Monday, May 20 New York's Finest 12/15/10
Monday, May 27 Advantage Chef 12/22/10
Monday, June 3 Dim Sum Lose Some 1/5/11
Monday, June 10 We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat 1/12/11
Monday, June 17 Restaurant Wars - One Night Only 1/19/11
Monday, June 24 An Offer They Can't Refuse 2/2/11
Monday, July 1 Feeding Fallon 2/9/11
Monday, July 8 Lockdown 2/16/11
Monday, July 15 For the Gulf 2/23/11
Monday, July 22 Give Me Your Huddled Masses 3/2/11
Monday, July 29 Fit for a King 3/9/11
Monday, August 5 Island Sun 3/16/11
Monday, August 12 Last Supper 3/23/11
Monday, August 19 Finale 3/30/11
Monday, August 26 Reunion 4/6/11
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2015.04.14 20:08 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: I am TOP CHEF alum and author Bryan Voltaggio, AMA!

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Date: 2015-04-14
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Do you have a specific comfort food that you brings you up when you're feeling down? Comfort food - for me, personally, I find comfort in cooking. So sometimes if I have a bad day, you know, I might just go to the stove, get into one of those moods where I just wanna cook for myself and/or somebody, but I also look at it as quiet time. Typically, if there's something going on during the course of the day, I might even jump on one of my lines and either assist or push aside one of my cooks for a moment, just so I can go back to being a line cook because that's where I am most happy, cooking for myself and/or others.
Can you think of a time when you were down and you had a meal that turned your day/outlook around for you? During the challenges, the best thing to do is cook what you know, cook within your ability, and cook within your repertoire. What I've found is contestants in the history of TOP CHEF who try to cook against others and not with themselves are typically ones that don't succeed. Stay true to who you are. Cook to the best of your ability, and just have fun doing so.
What are the characteristics that go into making a successful contestant on Top Chef other than simply being able to make good food? Obviously, menu planning in a restaurant, you're allowed more time to focus on what the outcome is going to be. Under time constraints, in a TOP CHEF scenario or some other food competition, you're pressured by time, and so typically you'll find at the end of it, you'll find you could've done something better than what you did, haha!
What is the difference between being able to compose a kick-ass restaurant menu vs. being able to put together those Top Chef dishes? In the restaurant you always have the ability of trial & error prior to putting it on the menu.
How long do you actually take to come up with a dish? So sometimes things pop right into your head. Sometimes you have to create as you go. Certainly there's a few minutes before the challenge actually starts, but not a lot of time to think through every thought.
How often is it based on something you've already made and how often is it something totally new? However, again, leaning on your repertoire is just the best way of going about it.
I know you're an advocate of venison. Goto preparation for cuts like backstrap or loin? You know, for me, I like to marinate the meat first. With a dry seasoning. So some sort of a salt cure, typically for 4-5 hours, just to - and it can be any preference, if you like heavy spices, or something that's a bit sweeter with some sugar and/or coffee grounds (I like to use that as well when I'm marinating venison, I have a great coffee rub for venison in the book HOME you could use for it - it's for pork shoulder in the book). Let it sit for a few hours, then let it rest in a pan, then baste it with butter. Roast it until it gets to the correct temperature - I like mine rare to medium rare, because venison is very lean, so it tends to dry out unless you cook it on the underdone side.
off, as a massive Top Chef addict, I’m so thankful to have one of my favorite chefs from the series on here to do an AMA. Do you think season six was one of those unfair seasons for the other chefs to participate in? I only ask this, because you and your brother along with Jennifer Carroll, in my opinions stood out the most--in some episodes, it just seemed unfair to be in a quickfire with you guys. And how mesmerizing is Tom Colicchio? There's a ton of great chefs in that season. Obviously my brother, myself, and then there's Kevin Gillespie, a great chef in Atlanta, as well as Eli Kirstein, also from Atlanta, and who can forget Mike Isabella, who is also a neighbor here in the DC area and a friend. It was a well-rounded season, with a lot of great chefs, and I was proud to be a part of it. Mesmerizing? Tom is obviously an amazing chef. It was great to be a part of TOP CHEF & get to know him a bit better. Really thoughtful cook, and he's an advocate for things that are important for me as well, like child hunger, and he's a champion at getting these issues in the forefront.
I've recently heard that you don't really need to soap up a knife. Just a good rinse in hot water and a wipe down will suffice. Also as a non-celebrity chef, what should I look for in a good knife? Brand suggestions? I have always been privy to Henckle's (Own a 6" chefs kinfe, a deboning knife, and a paring knife). What should I look to next to purchase? You should look for a good sturdy knife that feels good in your hands. Knives are personal. It should feel good when you pick it up. You'll know when you pick it up, I know that sounds difficult, but if you go to a store with a good selection of knives, you'll know. Especially a cookware store. Everyone should have a good, sharp chef's knife. And at least a paring knife. And you can accomplish most of what you need to do with those two.
How do you care for your knives? You should always clean & sanitize your knives.
If you could rectify one common food misconception, what would it be? One common food misconception? Less is more.
Also, can you share the secret of getting that deliciously crispy/salty crust you put on your pork tenderloins? And the crispy-salty crust - you put together anything that's crispy and salty and you get a great crust I guess, haha! It's typically panko bread crumbs that have been toasted in clarified butter, and at that point, that can be the basis for any crispy salty crust that you're looking for.
Do you find any type of food harder or easier to cook? Sometimes I see famous chefs remark that something is harder than anything else they'd done before. Again, just talking about patience - when you're talking about tougher cuts of meat, or things that take a good amount of time, with everybody's busy lifestyles, taking the time to follow through on a dish becomes more difficult than it used to be. Carving out the right amount of time, and planning your day or weekend so you pay full attention to a dish from start to finish will always yield the most delicious results.
According to you what is the healthiest snack which is also easy to make? Tssh tssh tssh.
Hummus is good. I like making fresh hummus is in different ways, with other purees. You can use green peas, fava beans, when they're in season. But I also like salsas, and of course, guacamole. Anything where you can take a crispy vehicle to dip into can be not only delicious but also slightly healthy (I guess you could say).
How do you salt? Do you shake? Grind it? Or sprinkle over the top? You can tell a lot by the way someone salts... Actually, we use a very specific percentage to season our ingredients with. We use, by weight, we measure the finished product or the product to be cooked, and then we multiply it by .005, or a half-percent, to get the proper amount of salt to use to season the dish. You'll see that formula carried through in the new book to make seasoning easy and formulate.
Hi Bryan, thanks for being here today. How do you balance family and work life with so much going on? As I continue to grow restaurants and get involved in many more things as a chef, this family / work / life balance is very top of mind. I have a very loving and supportive family, who understands my passion and goals and supports me. But then again, I need to give back the same support to my family and their goals and wishes. So communication is key in creating the balance.
What's your typical (or atypical) process for creating a new dish and getting it on the menu? If it's even possible to calculate, how many hours go into formulating it, figuring out the overhead and labor, etc...? Alternately: what's the story behind one of your favorite dishes? Typically things all start with the ingredient. Obviously, I cook very seasonally, so I get excited for the process of creating a new dish by focusing on the starting point, and then applying whatever cooking processes we have in our bag of tricks as a chef. The great thing is there are so many now where we can - fruits and vegetables specifically - use many cooking techniques, so this time of year, Spring, is the most exciting.
What is comfort food for you? Comfort food for me... again, home cooked meals, cooking for others, cooking with my family is what's comforting for me.
What's your biggest splurge? My biggest splurge... Tssh tssh tssh... I travel for food. I won't hold back. If there's something I need to try, I'll get there. That's happened many times. So I guess traveling for food.
Hey Bryan! I'm thinking about starting my own restaurant. Any advice for a first timer? If you haven't managed or been involved with management on the front end of the restaurant (or the back end), immerse yourself in both sides NOW. If you're a chef, obviously, surround yourself with a good team, first and foremost. And be sure to see your vision through. Because if not, then it won't be authentic.
Hey Bryan! Does Padma know much about being a chef? How do you guys handle criticisms from her knowing she doesn't have experience? Padma has plenty of experience. She spends tons of her time at the table and the stove. Mostly we see her at the table, where she has certainly developed a very reliable palate, and the times that she spoke to my food, she certainly picked up on things that I tried to have come across in a dish.
Welcome to reddit, and thank you for sharing your time with us Bryan! Cast iron skillets, why or why not? I've always been told they taste better with certain foods, but I haven't looked into it much. Actually, there's a recipe in my new book HOME, which asks for a cast-iron skillet to cook the steak dinner. The reason why I love cast iron is for its even heating surface, the fact that you can obviously have a very seasoned skillet that creates a nonstick surface, and as long as you take care of it, it'll also last you a lifetime.
Last updated: 2015-04-18 13:00 UTC
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2014.04.20 01:30 amdewstow Ladies Against Humanity Pack

"The limit does not exist!"


A $20 bill with Harriet Tubman's face on it
A bill allowing establishments to refuse service to homophobic legislators
A blazing Valentine's Day bonfire torching every moronic column that advises women on how not to end up single on Valentine's Day
A bodice-ripping 4-way with Alexander Skarsgard, lan Somerhalder, and David Boreanaz
A brown smudge equally likely to be period blood or chocolate.
A candlelight vigil for Nicole Brown Simpson
A CNN article touting "A Shocking New Study Shows Women Aren't Treated Equally With Men"
A detailed vajazzling of Van Gogh's Starry Night
A dozen Sprinkles cupcakes smeared on my naked body
A fantasy film that takes place in an alternate reality where, amazingly, everyone is white
A fantasy road trip with Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza with burritos and mixtapes and skinny-dipping under the stars and you all just laugh and laugh
A federal holiday named after a black woman. (Or any woman, for that matter.)
A fun family cook-out grilling leftover dresses at Chez Gaga
A gender neutral, owl-themed baby announcement
A hand-crocheted Diva Cup case from
A heaping dish of real talk served ice cold by Ashley Wagner
A hot, wet, trumpet of a tart when you're nearly sure your partner is out of earshot
A humorless orgy filled with humorless feminists
A joke too funny for women to understand
A late breaking addition to the Opening Ceremony that features the women of Pussy Riot hooking up Putin's nipples and scrotum to high voltage electroshock
A limited edition set of white people white cards about topics such as J. Crew, half-marathons, and the word "articulate" just in time for Black History Month
A middle school style 3-way call about what to wear to the party
A misogynist dystopia set in the not-too distant WAIT A MINUTE
A much needed reminder that, all too often, "beauty standards" = "being white."
A new cookbook by Sylvia Plath
A new law forcing men to buy extra insurance in advance in case they someday need erectile dysfunction meds
A one-on-one tutorial in fabulous from Janet Mock
A one-way ticket to Steubenville
A perfect virginity story including a snowy night, a cozy cabin, and NBC news anchor Brian Williams
A personal style consultation from Lupita Nyong'o
A quickie with Rachel Maddowin the green room
A reissue of Battleship where you have to find the clitoris
A relationship-ending round of "Never Have I Ever"
A second-trimester burrito baby
A sneakediaper drive for your best friend Wendy Davis
A soothing 6-handed massage from McDreamy, McSteamy and Yang after a really tough day at work
A stern and timely pep talk from Miss Tyra
A strongly worded letter to Netflix demanding the addition of "The Good Wife"
A sturdy, resounding slap to the face of Vladimir Putin from the hand of Billie Jean King
A sudsy soak in the prefects bathroom with Cedric Diggory
A tear stained copy of Reviving Ophelia
A thoughtful discussion of music and fashion with Lorde and Tavi over manis and cappuccinos
A torrid sex odyssey with President Fitzgerald Grant
A toxic chemical fire fueled by all the make-up brands that don't make shades for people of color
A vagina mint. A mint for your vagina.
A vibrating Nuva Ring because why Wouldnot that exist
A warm, cuddly hug from Phillip Seymour Hoffman
A white-hot blazing inferno fueled entirely by Pnina Tarnai stunners
Abortion Barbie®
Accidentally making a duck face in the elevator mirror, immediately cringing in shame
Accidentally pooping out the tampon
Adele crooning under your ex's window 24/7 until he understands exactly what he did
Alan Rickman murmuring sweet pillow talk that you can't understand a word of but who cares just keep talking
An 80-year-old woman with her 20-year-old lover
An all-girl orgy comprised entirely of Cumberbitches
An alternate version of the Washington Monument that looks kind of like a vagina
An Auschwitz-themed Olympic debutante party
Arthur Weasley's muggle porn
Asking Gilbert Gottfried to do the lago voice during sex
Asking the waiter who tries to take your half-finished burger away if he's out of his fucking mind
Asking your doctor to define "occasional drinker"
Audra McDonald and ldina Menzel serenading you with the most heartbreaking love song in the history of everything
Awkwardly explaining to your waiter that you're not actually anti-coat hanger
Bandying Vampire Bill about the head and neck until he chooses Laura Benanti like a sane person
Banging Paul Rudd's ugly brother because close enough
Beard burn on your labia
Because sometimes you want three broomsticks
Being brought to tears by an unflattering photo and feeling a fiery mix of self-hatred and rage-filled feminist revolution
Being compared to a Cathy cartoon on Metafilter
Being forced to buy all fan gear in Pink because it's the color of your vagina
Being in a nice restaurant and knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is definitely food in your bra
Being polite about Lean In at the office
Being single in winter and not shaving your legs for months
Being soulfully serenaded collectively and individually by The Roots
Being the only woman at the office-mandated sexual harassment training
Being unbelievably attracted to Michael Fassbender even when he's evil to his core
Beyoncé thinkpieces
Beyoncé watching the halftime show on her $40,000 couch just laughing like yeah, sure, whatever
Blue Ivy's weave
Bobby Flay chipping his tooth on a ball gag
Breaking up with your fiancé via a fabulous Sondheim patter song
Buying condoms in your hometown
Calculating the WeightWatchers Points Plus™ in a heaping serving of Donald Rumsfeld's spooge
Calmly informing your date that you understand the infield fly rule better than he does
Celebrating equal pay day by making the same amount of money as a man who does the same job as you. Lol just kidding, you can't have that.
Checking "Other: Lesbianism" on the birth control survey at your gynecologist's office
Chin hairs you pretend you don't have
Choking on the ashes of Gloria Steinem's bras
CJ Cregg laying the smack down on a misogynist fucker then taking you out for mimosas
Compiling all the money we spend on hair removal products to feed all the hungry children forever
Condi and Hillary throwing a power pantsuit fashion show to raise money to help journalists who can't think of better questions to ask women politicians
Congratulating CBS on having the bravery and audacity to pick a white man to host a late night show
Convincing 2 straight guys to make out at a party to impress their girlfriends
Cooper Manning's burn book
Cramming Vladimir Putin full of Activia® until he poops out Russia's homophobia
Crying in the fitting room during bikini season
Daenerys Targaryen's fire-breathing vajayjay
Daenerys Targaryen, Arya Stark and Cersei Lannister combining forces to take down misogyny forever
Deciding that Lupita Nyong'o is the Cinderella you hope your daughter will grow up to be
Declaring that you will abstain from checking OkCupid or Tinder for 24 hours on Valentine's Day but then getting drunk and sad and signing in with much lower standards
Deliberately not shaving your legs to keep yourself from hooking up on an early date
Depriving white men of the right to vote for 150 years and just seeing what happens
Diane Keaton wearing a suit better than any man ever could.
Discovering orgasms at a prettttty young age courtesy of a jacuzzi/hot tub/pool jet
Doing your kegels at work
Donating your breast milk for vegan consumption
Doubling up on sports bras
Douches that smell like rain
Dumbledore's rarely seen club robes
Dumpsters overflowing with whimsical save the-date magnets
Dying your hair red like Angela Chase
Eating the entire bag
Emma Goldman burning the whole motherfucker down
Engagement photos on train tracks
Expensive vibrators shaped like twee woodland creatures
Experimenting with Stacey McGill and Claudia Kishi while the kids sleep in the other room
Explaining to a man that your bisexuality does not exist for his titillation
Expressing the anal glands of Oprah's chow chows
Feeling a little bit smug about Gwyneth Paltrow's divorce
Feeling microaggressive when people won't stop using the word microaggressive
Feeling nauseous and thinking, "0h, great. Is this going to cost me $400?"
Feeling slightly like you are fighting the system when you use the men's restroom at a bar rather than standing in line for the ladies' room
Finally being included in an NFL commercial as a "football fan" instead of "football fan's clueless girlfriend"
Finger banging Michelle Rodriguez
Flicking the bean to Adam Levine's Proactiv® commercial
Force-feeding Sheryl Sandberg the pages of lean In, one by one
Forcing your lover to call you "moon of my life"
Gabby Gifford' physical therapy
Getting a little turned on by the liquid silk voices of the ladies of NPR
Getting a new match notification on Tinder and not having any idea what you were thinking when you swiped right
Getting angry at your crush because of something mean he said during an imaginary conversation
Getting DPed by the Property Brothers on a custom granite countertop
Getting drunk and texting someone you don't really like because it's better than texting no one at all
Getting home from a workout and realizing your pubes were sticking out of your short shorts the whole time
Getting in the football mood by spiking your used tampons into the trash and celebrating afterwards
Getting irrationally angry when you don't think a Facebook status deserves that many likes
Getting topped by Professor Grubbly-Plank
Getting weepy drunk in the daytime and posting quotes from You've Got Mail on the internet
Giving ScarJo's boobs a (consensual) Iii' squeezy-squeeze on the red carpet
Giving up on the game to make out with big Tim Riggins
Going on a mediocre date, then a terrible date, then fooling yourself into thinking the mediocre date was better than it was
Going out to buy super healthy organic groceries then coming home and ordering takeout
Guys who can't get it together to set a date but still find time to like your shit on Face book
Guys who take off their wedding rings before they flirt with you at a bar
Hagrid and Madame Maxime role-play
Having big boobs and wearing horizontal stripes anyway cause FUCK IT
Having unprotected sex to honor the anniversary of Roe v. Wade
Hermione telling you she'd never hurt Ron; it's just that you're so beautiful and she's so confused
High-fiving Sandra Bullock after the best drunk duet of "Oops! I did it again" in the history of karaoke
High-fiving Shonda Rhimes while dancing on the graves of every boss who never bothered to hire a woman or person of color
Hillary bitch-slapping Bill with a frozen tuna
Hiring Buffy Summers to roundhouse kick the woman in your office who doesn't support other women
Holding hands with Ellen Page at the best Tegan & Sara concert ever
Holding your boobs as you go up and down stairs
Hoping maybe he didn't call because he died
Inspirational Dove chocolate wrappers
It gets better(ish).
JLaw creeping Taylor Swift ADORABLY
Joaquin Phoenix as George Michael Bluth and Scarlett Johannsen as Ann Veal in the new Arrested Development movie, "HER?"
Khaleesi bringing her dragons to a board meeting like "sorry, couldn't get daycare!"
Kim Kardashian's placenta banh mi
Kneeing him right in the man business when the fantasy suite turns into a nightmare
Lactating when a stranger's baby cries on the train
ldris Elba whisking you off for a weekend on the Riviera
Leonardo DiCaprio sitting on the sidewalk smoking with "Talkshow Host" playing in the background
Liberté, égalité. Beyoncé.
Lining up all the lip glosses you've ever lost until they wrap around the world
Living with the fact that you're a white person who regularly downloads songs from "Glee"
Locking all the mansplainers in a windowless room with Bellatrix Lestrange
Magic ovaries that shoot down rape sperm with lasers
Making 77 cents on the dollar (unless you're Latina)
Making Firefox your preferred browser for gay porn
Making him jealous with Viktor Krum
Making it obnoxiously clear to your friends that you'll be watching the Puppy Bowl instead of the Super Bowl this year
Making out with an openly gay Eagle Scout "to help him make sure"
Malala's gunshot wounds
Masturbating to Ty Pennington
Meredith Grey's slut phase
Meryl Streep selfies
Michelle Kwan gliding across the ice like a majestic goddamn swan
Mother. Fucking. Thigh gap.
Naming your breasts Lorelei and Rory
Needing to pee before your nail polish dries
Not having the heart to tell him it really doesn't happen to everyone
Objectifying women "for charity"
Oil wrestling with all three Manning brothers. Yeah, there are three.
Only shaving up to the knee
Patti Stanger's line of jewelry Asking Larry Summers increasingly difficult mathematical questions until Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are considered equally important
Peggy Olson's cutthroat ambitions
Perversely cheering for a team your partner hates, just for funsies
Pitching "The Deathstick" to Good Vibrations
Pointing out to people who claim to hate abortion that they might want to consider supporting access to contraception
Polishing off another bottle of Bordeaux with Olivia Pope and Alicia Florrick
Politely asking Juan Pablo to stop ruining Juan-uary
Pre-ordering a new Hitachi Magic Wand just in time for Galentine's Day
Pretending someone else is home when the delivery guy shows up with your extra large pizza
Pretending you don't fantasize about taking Tim Tebow's virginity
Pretending you'll wear that bridesmaid dress again
Princess Aurora maniacally devouring the still-beating heart of Maleficent
Proclaiming the wine "undrinkable" immediately before drinking it
Proudly carrying your tampon to the bathroom in full view of everyone because THE JIG IS UP A LOT OF US HAVE PERIODS
Putting on skinny jeans straight out of the dryer and wanting to commit genocide
Queefing in the faces of Oscar voters until they're forced to recognize the achievements of women and people of color
Raising a champagne toast to Belle Knox, the badass Duke porn actress
Realizing halfway through a great date that you forgot to tweeze those nipple hairs
Realizing you're not having lesbian sex anytime soon after you get one of those chunky glitter manis
Realizing your awkward sitting position on the floor made your vag lips lose all sensation
Reimagining your life as gluten free when you find out the hot 23-year-old at the office has Celiac
Rejecting a guy who might be your future husband on Tinder because his face just akes you angry
Reminding yourself not to start a conversation about your to-do list after your mind wanders during sex
Renée Fleming bringing linebackers to tears
Resentfully clicking like on your boss's vacation photos
Rosa Park's back seat
Roses are red, violets are blue, women deserve equal pay for equal work
Running your fingers through Jon Stewart's lustrous salt-and-pepper hair until you've regained a sense of calm
Ryan Gosling's taint
Scalding hot wax right there on your labia
Screaming in terror at the giant bug in your shower before you realize it's a hair ball
Seven carpets that match the drapes
Seven minutes in heaven with Eric Decker
Sexual fantasies involving Mindy Lahiri and a sumptuous coffeecake
Shameful childhood memories of envying the wheelchair girl who got all the attention
Shouting "NOT OKAY TOO SOON DON'T DO IT KEVIN" when Fred Savage plays a perp on SVU
Sipping champagne and trying on dresses made by designers of color with Kerry Washington and Michelle Obama
Sirius holding his hand over your mouth so you don't wake his mother's portrait
Smiling and pretending the sexism in your industry doesn't exist because you'd like to get/keep a job
Sort of wishing the baby on the plane would die
Sorting your friends - even the ones you think belong in Hufflepuff
Stalking wedding photos on Facebook, weeping softly.
Staph infections from dirty nail salons
Stealing a male relative's Playboy and feeling brand new feelings
Stubbornly refusing to put a tampon in because your period should have ended two days ago
Stumbling on David Wright performing as Judy Garland in the East Village
Subjecting a handsy finance bro to the withering gaze of the Dowager Countess
Surprising your partner with a Vladimir Putin shaped butt plug
Swish and flick.
Taking a giant dump on the 18th green at the Augusta National Golf Club
Taking your vegan girlfriend to shuck some soysters
Talking sexy social justice with Maya Angelou until your caged bird sings
Taylor Swift's sloppy seconds
Telling a street harasser "YOU know what? I will blow you."
Telling Pacey your innermost secrets in a canoe beneath the Capeside stars
Telling the thousandth guy for the thousandth time that all he needs to do is expend one tiny modicum of effort
Telling your date you're only paying 77 cents on the dollar when he asks to split the check
Tenderly dominating Uncle Jesse from behind
Texting your blind date's address to all your friends for safety
Thanking whatever nice man decided women deserve one month per year to learn about our history
That dangerous, terrifying moment when you realize you've memorized your credit card
That floaty feeling your legs get when you shave them after a long time
That guy in your gender studies class who's "just playing devil's advocate"
That moment when the wind flows through your vag hair
That time Cate Blanchett schooled Hollywood about how films starring women do make money
That time the president said "Women deserve equal pay for equal work" and half the room disagreed
The Bechdel Test
The blue liquid from tampon commercials
The chills you still get down your spine remembering the night Barack Hussein Obama became our president
The chub rub
The cold hard truth that no lesbian has ever scissored
The dawning realization that this is your life and this is what you're doing with it
The delicious grin that spreads across your lips right before you cock-punch that guy who just told you to smile
The disconcertingly placed hotel bathroom mirror that allows you to finally know how your face looks when you poop
The effort to control your facial expression when your friend tells you what she named her baby
The fallacious mythological running bra that actually stops the bouncing
The fallopian tube related elevation sickness that forces lady sports reporters to stay on the field and out of the booth
The G-Spot, the Y -Spot, the other spot you made up to confuse your partner
The Golden Girls' never-ending supply of frozen cheesecake
The grim, completely unsurprised facial expressions of black women being kicked off "The Bachelor"
The Gyllenhaals: giving incest a thumbs up this one time
The holiday greeting card heteronormative parade
The look on your boyfriend's face when he said "anal is no big deal" so you pulled out a strap-on
The massively hot lesbian orgy we assume took place after women leaders were forced to march separately in the 1963 March on Washington
The mental jiujitsu required to be a Republican and a woman at the same time
The moving romance of a holiday where men are expected to reinforce structurally sexist gender norms by buying things
The nauseating fact that many NFL cheerleaders make less than $1,000 per year
The new Georgia O'Keefe biopic, "Yeah, that's not a flower"
The new Special K diet: eating the box
The newest weapon in the global war on poverty: Connie Britton's hair
The pleasurable feeling you get pulling a stray hair out of your butt crack while you shower
The race to beat your vibrator's dying batteries to the finish line
The raging hellfire your best friend Veronica Mars will rain down on anyone who betrays you
The realization that there's no polite way to ask if he's inside you
The saddest, loneliest hand job in all the world
The self-esteem murdering combination of constipation and skinny jeans
The shocking revelation that all Super Bowl car commercials are shot in Saudi Arabia, which is why no women are allowed to drive
The simmering rage when some friend of a friend you've never met mansplains you on Facebook
The temptation to jump the curb and mow down random men who tell you how to parallel park
The terror when you glimpse those tiny droplets of pee glistening on the public toilet seat
The torture chamber where Kathryn Bigelow keeps James Cameron
The underwear sniff test
The unknowable shame of having masturbated to The L-Word
The unmitigated horror of having to pee in a club while wearing a jumpsuit
The unparalleled bliss of taking the bra off and letting the girls fly free
The Williams sisters patrolling the night exacting brutal, unrelenting justice
Throwing every person who's ever assumed you were pregnant into a pit filled with hot acid
Thwacking a men's rights activist with Lady Gaga's shoe
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler making out on a pile of Bitch magazmes
Tom Colicchio whipping up a delectable midnight snack while you lean against the counter wearing one of his button downs
Trying to figure out which Weasley twin prefers anal play
Turning the tables on Katie Couric about her genitals mid-interview
Tweeting Cory Booker about that guy walking behind you
Unbelievably hot dreams about your ex because YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS IS AN ASSHOLE
Underboob sweat like rancid milk
Unfriending that one girl who won't stop vomiting her wedding planning on your Facebook
Unnecessarily gendered teas
Unsolicited information about your boyfriend's sperm count
Urinating on yourself to prevent an assault
Using a Super Bowl bet to get your partner to try that kinky sex thing they've been putting off
Using April Fools as a barometer to figure out which of your friends are actually funny
Velvety rose petals elaborately arranged to spell the words "I'm breaking up with you, asshole"
Waking up in Harry's four poster bed
Walking out of West Elm with another fucking throw pillow
Watching a more qualified woman of color get passed over for some white guy on national television
Watching Bethenny Frankel struggle for life in a churning sea of pre-mixed SkinnyGirl® cocktails
Watching Eli Manning's face light up as you hand him the world's most adorable puppy
Wearing yoga clothes to not do yoga
When "small and scrappy" just doesn't cut it
When a dog smells your crotch and you know exactly why
When a FOX News anchor casually references 'ebonies'
When a guy says "70% of women are crazy" and you want to find a way to cut his face off without reinforcing the stereotype
When a guy's like "ugh, are you on your period?" and you totally are BUT THAT'S NOT WHY YOU'RE ANGRY
When a male colleague tries to take credit for your idea and you shout "NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER"
When RuPaul throws ultimate shade and Alec Baldwin pees himself and faints into a bowl of soup
When someone thoughtfully points out that an article of clothing makes you look bigger, like that is the single worst thing that could ever happen to a person
When the tampon is too low and you feel it with every step.
When there are only two squares of toilet paper left and you know there's about to be a little bit of pee on your hand
When you wear a too-short skirt on public transportation and your vagina is basically touching the bus seat
When your boyfriend competes with Leslie Knope to be the best gift-giver ever and convinces Ladies Against Humanity to post your very own birthday card
When your one night stand finishes with "OMAHA!"
When your partner goes down on you until you turn into Moaning Myrtle
Wondering how best to vent about Obamacare without seeming like you don't support it
Wondering if Ariel chums the water every time she gets her period
Wondering whether your girl crush on Hermione constitutes pedophilia
Yearning to use Adam Scott's fluffy, gravity-defying mane as a full body shower loofah
Your gigantic crush on Jenna Lyons
Zach Braff and k.d. lang trading hair tips
“Baby, what's wrong?”
“Daddy? What are you doing?”
“Whatever Peeta. You'll never understand my struggle with ______.”
50 Shades of ______.
All I want for Pi day is ______ and 3.14 actual pies.
Are you there, God? It's me, ______.
At the next Republican National Convention, Clint Eastwood will use a chair for ______.
Claudette Colvin is most famous for doing what Rosa Parks did 9 months earlier but she's second most famous for ______.
Derek Jetter will retire at the end of next season to spend more time ______.
Detective Stabler's latest rage blackout was brought on by ______.
Do you have something you'd like to share with the class?
Draw me, Jack. Draw me like ______.
Hey, Susie. I know your job is ______ but can you just grab me ______? Thanks.
How do I celebrate beating all my male co-workers in the office March Madness pool?
I couldn't help but wonder: was it Mr. Big, or was it ______?
I find that ______ helps me locate my IUD string.
I know it looks like that guy on the subway is masturbating, but really he's ______.
I thought I'd win her heart by ______, but sadly McKayla was not impressed.
I'm not a smoker at all, just sometimes I need a cigarette to deal with ______.
I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so… so… ______.
I'm not even thinking about having a baby because I'm extremely busy ______.
If you don't mind my asking, how do lesbians have sex?
In "A Time to Kill,” Matthew McConaughey hated racism more than ______.
In her next romcom, Katherine Heigl plays a woman who falls in love with her boss's ______
Instead of a diamond ring, I want my partner to spend two months' salary on ______.
It's not cheating if I'm ______.
It's not length it's ______.
It's poker night with Beyoncé. You pull ______ out of your bra and slam it on the table.
It's not that I think we should break up, it's just lately I've been thinking a lot about ______.
Letting a white bro think he understands ______ better than you do.
MASH: Mansion Apartment, Shack, ______.
Men are from ___, women are from ___.
Meth is hard Let's go ______!
Obamacare has been criticized for restricting women's access to ______.
On a tough day, what's that one special thing Coach Taylor does to make you feel better?
On Wednesday, we wear ______.
One magical property common to unicorn blood, dragon blood, and Diva Cup blood is ______.
Pardon me while I take up less space so a man can have more room for ______.
She may not be fazed by Richard Sherman, but Erin Andrews is terrified of ______.
Shortly after the repeal of DOMA, Dumbledore was seen ______.
Sofia Coppola's new film focuses on a wealthy young white woman feeling alienated by ______.
Something old, something new, something borrowed, and ______.
Sometimes I want to think my one guy friend who's a legit baller feminist by ______.
That's why her hair is so big. It's full of ______.
The best excuse to not do that exercise groupon is ______.
The Devil Wears ______.
The latest proposal in the Texas legislature is to take away ______ from women.
The newest royal baby bears on alarming resemblance to ______.
The only thing more boring than your new diet is ______.
The Pantone color of the year is inspired by ______.
The secrets to John Boehner's smooth, even tan are a cream made from aborted fetuses and ______.
The thing I want most for Valentine's Day is my set of “Ladies Against Humanity” cards, but the thing I want second-most is ______.
This month in Cosmo; How to give your man ______ at the expense of ______.
This year's top Super Bowl commercial will use ______ to advertise Budweiser beer.
We are never. Ever. Ever. Ever ______.
What do I see in the Mirror of Erised?
What fell into my bra?
What is Olivia Pope's secret to removing red wine stains from white clothes?
What made this the most dramatic rose ceremony ever?
What makes a sponge-worth?
What should I get my therapist for Christmas?
What was Barty Crouch really doing in the Forbidden Forest?
What will Bill Clinton's social cause be as First Man?
What's in the gift baskets Derek Jeter gives to his one-night-stands?
What's my preferred way of celebrating International Women's Day?
What's my weapon of choice in the “War on Women”?
What's one thing straight white guys like even better than feeling oppressed?
What's Seth MacFarlane's problem?
What's the most privileged thing I do on the regs?
What's the one thing that worried Russia's anti-gay police even more than the entire sport of figure skating?
What's the one totally unexpected thing that helps Emeril stay hard?
What's the real reason there's no Wonder Woman movie?
What's the secret ingredient in Proactive®?
What's the weirdest thing that's been in my vagina?
What's my preferred method of contraception?
When I found out PARKS & REC was renewed for a seventh season, I celebrated by ______.
When Queen Elizabeth has to keep smiling, she just thinks of ______.
When they finally convince Chris Harrison to be The Bachelor, I'll win his heart by ______.
Why can't we have nice things?
Why do men on the internet send me pictures of ______?
Why does the Komen Foundation hate Planned Parenthood?
Why exactly was Alains so mad at uncle Joey?
You know nothing, Jon Snow, but you're pretty good at ______.
______: That's a deal-breaker.
______:the Tori Amos song that changed my life
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